When I became a teenager, my mother gifted me with a tiny little diary with it's own little lock and key. She told me to write a daily journal ..told me to vent my frustrations ,anger and irritations on those pages. My mother taught me that my diary is me-my innermost soul, no holds secrets. Then she told me to read what I had written, and think, with a clear mind-did I do wrong?was I right?Should I have done things differently? If so, can I change things and situations for the better?
During those turbulent teenage years, those diaries were the best anchors I could have..they were the mirrors of my soul.i found I could lash out at anyone I wanted, in private, without losing my dignity,or hurting any one's feelings.They taught me to be ladylike. They helped me when I felt sad. I just had to read back a few pages to see how blessed I was and see that things were not as bad as they seemed. I never forgot a single moment of my life.

Over the years, I graduated from that tiny little diary to big notebooks, chockful of funny stories, sad moments, angry outbursts..silly crushes...what not!!

And then I got I got married.My diary writing went into over drive!!My emotions were fluctuating wildly in the highs and lows of my first love!!There were so many pages of syrupy simpering quotes about my dashing new husband.
Then came the many problems of two totally different people settling into a life together after the honeymoon period- Ugh!so many pages were filled with the things about him that irritated me!
Pregnancy-babies...I got so busy that I almost stopped writing. Almost..not fully....Because there were moments which were so intensely beautiful , they made me reach for pen and diary so I would never again forget those moments..
There was a time, when I would fill the pages with my fury at sitting at home, fat, with three kids, no chance to be footloose and fancy free...When I started using the D word in my writing..That should be around the 7th year of marriage(yes!!there really truly is a seven year itch!)My life was at it's lowest point..every little thing seemed to set us off into a bout of quarrelling...One day, after penning some angry words in myn diary, I started reading back...and I kept on till I reached my very first diary..( yes!I still have all my diaries...they're kept in a highly classified vault!won't tell you where!)They made me sit up and take stock of my life.And I realised that for the past few years, my behaviour and affection to my husband had been steadily going all aspects, I was doing the wrong a daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, mother, wife, aunt,cousin , a woman...I was not upto the mark. I was not the person I was before.So I decided to make an effort to be a better person,to be more patient, not to let the little things rile me up,to be more understanding to make the extra effort to love all who are my family and friends.I learnt to compromise and adjust
In six months time, we were back on track!

When my attitude changed, so did his..And one fine day, I picked up the box that contained all my diaries(all 11 of them!)and asked him if he wanted to read them. (after 8 years of being married...)Till that day, no one else had read my diaries, so he was properly respectful of them.We crossed an important milestone that day. I had learnt to trust him fully and he understood that I trusted him totally now. Eight years of living together and three kids-and you know what? Our love story started only then!And he also changed so much..he started talking more about his life, his dreams..he started opening up fully. We found that we basically have the same ideas and views.And he became my diary. I could pour out my anger, fears, my joy, my wishes ,and know that my feelings and thoughts are safe with him. He comforted me when I was sad, cautioned me when I was reckless, soothed my fears, laughed along with me,sheared my wonder short..he became better than my diary!

It is now the tenth year of our marriage..and I find that I no longer write in my diary.
My husband is my diary.



Mutton- 1kg
Turmeric powder 1 tsp
Button Onions 250 gms
Curry leaves 2-3 stalks
Dry red chillies 6-8 nos.
Green chilly 2-3 nos.
Ginger garlic crush1tbsp
Coconut OIl 2 tbsp
Cumin seeds(powdered)2tsp
Salt to taste
Water 1 cup


1. Crush dry red chillies ,onions, ginger garlic coarsely.

2. Rub meat with turmeric, salt and coconut oil and leave for 10 minutes.

3. Add all the ingredients and cover and cook till meat is soft and there is a thick gravy. Serve piping hot with chapathi, appam, bread...etc.

This one is my husband's favorite and his mom's recipe.Really great taste.
We sometimes substitute potato, or beef or chicken for the mutton..tastes great then also!!


  1. wow that was such a beautiful story... Iam also a diary person (but no more..) and I had more of a 2nd year itch... lol.... love ur posts... did u buy the swift yet? (o wait Iam just reading ur posts, u must have proably posted it long back...)

  2. How did you manage to get back to the kind of person that you were? It must have been soo hard!!I try and try and try.. but somehow that phase where everything just pisses u off and an argument bursts out for every teeny weeny thing..This phase is terrible!!!
    I guess its just hard when you love your husband so much and yet you want your individuality to shine through too..